5 months
20 weeks
140 days
This is how long it has been since I last saw my mum who has severe Dementia and I used to visit once a week - it would be more but I live in a different town.
Technology doesn't keep us connected as Dementia has stolen her ability to communicate.
So that's been 5months, 20 weeks, 140 days since she last saw me walk into her room and she could just about focus on me and smile for a second as she sees this person who makes her smile.
I treasured this moment as it was just about the only time I felt I had any communication with mum.
Dementia has also stolen her ability to process information so even though she is being told why we are not visiting we do not fully know what she can understand of this.
I HATE this as all I know is that she isn't seeing the familar faces that would bring a smile to her face and comfort her. It fills me with dread to think how she is feeling wondering why they aren't visiting anymore.
I fully understand the need to keep residents and staff safe from Covid where possible but what I can't understand is this blatant lack of acknowledgement (in my opinion) the side effects this is having on residents and families.
At what point is someone going to acknowledge the effect this having on my mum and those alike, the feeling of being isolated from their friends and families. The effect this must have been having on everyones mental health doenst bare thinking about.
At times I think I am doing OK but then I feel like I am somehow adapting to living in a world where I am sorry to say but it feels like my mum doesn't exist and I hate that feeling. No-one is helping to look into reuniting me with her, I can't speak to her, I can't visit her (the garden visit needs to be the same person each time which is my dad) but yet the world seems to slowly be moving on and returning to normal and I feel in this horrible limbo world of guilt, anger and sadness.
At what point do we work together to come up with a safe way to allow families to connect again - is it going to be another 5 months before I can even get a garden visit?
At what point is someone going to communicate to the families the roadmap on reconnecting us again?
5 months
20 weeks
140 days
I am sorry mum.
I am sorry that Dementia has stolen so much from you and now at a time where the world is in crisis but trying to return to normal in a safe way together I feel that the Dementia diagnosis has once again hit you with another almighty blow and the reason for you not being treated the same as the rest of us trying to navigate out of lockdown.
If we can visit those in hospital, why can't we visit those in care homes?
When I visted I cared for you, I fed you, I talked to you, I helpe with personal care, I tidied your room, I spent time with you and attended to your emotional and mental health. I think it's safe to say when doing all this it eased the pressur on staff.
This is why mum we are calling on the government to allow at least one family member into care homes the same way as staff are. Allow families and staff to work together and ease the pressure on everyone and in turn at least connect you with one person.
I am doing my bit by pushing a petition -
It may be another 5 months, 20 weeks, 140 days untill I see you again , genuinely holding back the tears at the thought of this, but if I can at least reunite you and dad then I will take that small win for you both.
Stay strong mum - you beat Covid on your own without us , we will see you again soon
Love you xxx
Side note we live in Scotland