One year on and we still need #AnnesLaw

To the policy makers, politicians, clinicians and anyone else involved in care homes please pay attention.

Today marks one year since we set up the petition that is now called #AnnesLaw

Today also marks 483 days , 1 year 3 months 26 days since my mum’s care home was put into lockdown. I never dreamed it would last this long, especially as society opens up more and more.

As we are now into month 16 of this lockdown I am writing to you to remind you of the human aspect of this ordeal and the need for an immediate resolution that allows those residing in care homes to live a “normal covid” life at the same time we in society are being allowed.

I am also reminding you that we owe them the very least Annes Law - www.change.org/Allow-Designated-Visits-By-Family-Carers-Into-Care-Homes

28th June marked my mum and dad’s 36yr wedding anniversary.

Last year on their 35th wedding anniversary they were only allowed to see each other through a window. No anniversary kiss for this couple as one of them sadly has fallen ill and needs 24/7 support, yet many other non-cohabiting couples across the country would have been allowed to spend the day together. What would it have taken to give my dad the same PPE as staff that day to allow them to spend time together, instead he had to watch through a window as staff got to get close to my mum.

This year on their 36th wedding anniversary they were allowed to see each other in person for 4hrs in the privacy of my mum’s room, my dad still had to wear gloves, apron and a mask. No anniversary kiss this year either. Once again they do not have the same rights as every other non-cohabiting couple across the country. My mum has gone 483 days without seeing her husband smile as he has to wear a mask, even though now they have both been double vaccinated and dad gets tested before entering the care home.

My mum and in turn my dad deserve the same rights as every other couple in this country right now.

It is getting harder and harder to not feel my mum is being discriminated against because of her illness and palce of residence - bearing in mind she has had both her vaccines, I thought this was supposed to protect her? She is certainly way more protected from Covid than she is Dementia given we know Dementia is the one thing that affects her health daily and there is no coming back from this. I wish so much there was as much interest in protecting her from Dementia the same way there has been from Covid, which she has caught and survived!

This year also marks some family milestones that when mum was diagnosed with Dementia we always knew would be hard to deal with i.e. weddings, welcoming new babies to the family and special birthdays.

This may seem like a lot of personal information to share and my point is that we as a family knew that mum’s Dementia diagnosis was going to impact on our family milestones as the years went on. In some way we may have mentally prepared ourselves for this knowing it wouldn’t be easy but we would somehow get round it.

What I can’t bear now is the double impact of Dementia denying my mum any “normal” family life and now having to deal with the fact that because she resides in a care home this is also impacting her right to any “normal” family life. I can’t bear the tip toeing around, scared to ask for something, the fear of being too close to my mum for too long etc and this is the culture that has been engrained on us family members across the country now because of the restrictions.

*My usual disclaimer that this is not about the care home itself, in fact the care home is one of those going above and beyond guidance, but about the care home situation overall across the country. I know my mum is well looked after but we still want her to see her family before it’s too late.

I have spoken a lot of how this feels for me and I need you to remember that my mum is still alive and she needs to be allowed a right to family life, something has to be done to allow her this. She isn’t going to get any better so she needs you, the policy makers, to figure out what can allow her what little quality of life she has left to be an enjoyable one.

Mum and every other person residing in care homes need their families for their wellbeing. As stated mum’s care home is going above and beyond Open with Care but she is still missing out on so much compared to if she didn’t reside in a care home. Sadly there are so many who are still getting bare minimum 30 minute visits and only allowing 2 family members.

Someone somewhere has to step up and address this inconsistency that is happening across the country. Right to family life should not be a postcode lottery. Someone needs to explain the purpose of the double vaccine and why this is not enabling our loved ones to be reunited with family members.

483 days and it still feels like people like my mum, who yes we have worked hard to protect but at this stage we are forgetting their need to be with their families the same way we in society are.

It’s hard to see stadiums full of fans, tennis matches etc going ahead and knowing there are residents in care homes locked away for 16 months and no end in sight when they can see their full family and not have to choose.

So I finish this by asking what stage we are at with Annes Law? As you may or may not know my mum is Anne of Anne’s Law - www.change.org/Allow-Designated-Visits-By-Family-Carers-Into-Care-Homes

So much I have highlighted is forever evolving and I get that but we as families and those residing in care homes live in fear that any day now we can be locked out again, and believe me it happens!

All it takes is one positive case and residents are the first to suffer. Suffer at the mercy of the freedoms we have been given as a society. They don’t get to choose to spontaneously meet up with family and friends or go to the park but they sure do get told when they can’t.

No one person should be denied the right to family life for 483 days simply because of where they reside whilst society, that includes staff and residents families, are given more and more freedom each day whilst care home residents' lives in general are still so heavily restricted.

Imagine going 483days and not seeing one person smile due to masks.

Imagine going 483 days and not seeing all your family and friends.

Imagine not knowing when this will end.

We owe care home residents the very bare minimum Annes Law for those we have lost, those who are still living this and those who will follow in our footsteps.