24.03.21 9:30am full of hope , 24.03.21 11:30am all hope gone!

24th March 2021 9:30am full of hope , 24th March 11:30am all hope gone!

The change.org petition was submitted to the Scottish Parliament Public Petitions Committee and in the space of 2hrs the focus that has kept me going for 8 months was pulled right from under my feet.

It was my last glimmer of hope that we could make change for mum and everyone else in care homes but sadly it was not meant to be. The petition committee decided to close it as they feel it is a matter of urgency and they have taken it as far as they can go and we would need to lobby up and coming candidates for the election in May. As usual it is left to the families to fight to the bitter end when all we want is for our loved ones to no longer be isolated...13months and counting! We just need someone to recognise the inhumanity and inequality that has gone on for so long now.

They also felt that the next time it could be discussed would be September 2021 and by then the world should be a different place and there would be no need for such a petition...I wish that were the case. We have no idea what is going on with this pandemic and at a time when all care homes residents have had both their vaccines there is still no light at the end of the tunnel to when they can be treated like the rest of society. Families are begging for visits more than 30mins once a week, families are begging to be beside their dying loved one in their final moments and so many more scenarios!

So I know alot of what has been mentioned above would not have been resolved by Annes Law but we see it as a start to ensuring that this type of isolation and seperation never happens again to anyone - remember this could be you at anypoint in your lifetime needing to move into residential care.

Would you really want to have been isolated for so long?

I used to blog about mum before Covid so thought I'd bring it back to her tonight.

I am pregnant with my first child, and what happens to be mum's first grand-daughter. I was able to have a garden visit with her this week where I was so excited to show her the scan photos.

Now this is where we need to remember why this is not a one size fits all...I was allowed to embrace mum at the start and the end then had to stay 2m apart. I had seconds to show my mum the scan pictures as she sat slumped in her wheelchair head down, this is sadly just how the Dementia has effected her now, then had to go back to being 2m apart shouting at her about the exciting news not knowing if she was even taking anything in.

We need to ensure visits are person centred, what on earth did my mum get from that? Nothing!!!! I know it deeply upset me to the point I felt like I couldn't even continue with the visit but stayed for mum.

So yeah, I have to phone and book to see my mum which is basically asking for permission. Our time together is then regulated on how that pans out whilst we are watched from afar.

So just remember that when you see the headlines about care home vists resuming, it's not all as rosey as it's made out to be.

Please note I don't blame the care home for this, this is the nature of care home visits just now and sadly I see no end in sight where fear rules over person centred care.

What I don't get is that mum and every other care home resident has had their second vaccine, when will we be able to allow care home residents to feel a part of society again?

My mum NEEDS people next to her , she NEEDS sensory touch. She has Dementia that has no treatment or cure, and don't even get me started on the thought she may have long covid but as she is in a care home that won't be a consideration.

What my mum needs is the bare minimum of her husband spending quality time with her daily and letting her feel loved and not forgotten about. I am a broken record but if agency staff were allowed in and out the past 13months and be able to help feed my mum, then my dad should damn well be allowed to do this! This practice of keeping families out hasn't kept everyone safe and still isn't.

If this was young vulnerable children seperated from parents there would be an uproar, I hate doing this comparison and I will only speak for mine and mum's situation but I feel she is just as vulnerable. She cannot do anything for herself or communicate yet her family are kept at a distance to keep her safe....

So yeah 13 months of isolation on someone with severe end of life Dementia, we have to ask ourselves are we really protecting people like mum or are we just enforcing a life of terrible loneliness where they are simply existing and no longer living becuse we have become so consumed with keeping them safe?

How would you rather live out what could be your final years?

Isolated and lonely or connected to your family?

Time to pick ourselves back up and get in about this May election and continue to raise awareness.