What did 2018 bring?

December 31st in Scotland we call it Hogmanay and I love it. Alot of people find it a hard time of year as we look back at what we lost etc . I have always just tried to look at as a night to celebrate with family and friends where possible.

Untill this year, one of the hardest years as a family we have ever had I would say.

As I look back I wonder what we learned this year in the world of Dementia, by we I mean as a family as it is still a learning curve for us.

I learned that local authorities have so much control over how you live you live your life and its a postcode lottery whether thats a positive or negative experience.

I went all the way to Chicago (yes I know I still need to write on this and will be with you ASAP) to learn that no matter where you are in the world we all appear to still looking for the same answers on how to cope with the economical pressures Dementia brings on society and families.

I learned we talk more about how to live well with Dementia as opposed to curing it.

I learned we have to fight to make changes and Amanada Kopel is prime example as we get closer to Frank's Law in Scotland being implemeneted , too late for mum and Frankie but over the moon for those it will help on this dreadful journey.

Thank you Amanda.

I learned that I had forgotten how hard mum worked as a carer as I spent time in the care home and watch how hard the staff work and how compassionate they are - they're not only caring for mum and her other 14 neighbours but they are sounding boards for us families when we are having days we are struggling. They do not get the recognition the deserve.

I learned that we still dont know enough about Dementia - we are still hearing the phrase 'its possibly just the Dementia progressing'. Lets not use the word probably lets make it a certainity and see how we can help with this stage and make those living with it more comfortable. I can't bare to see my mum upset everyday but apparantly that's just the Dementia so deal with it.

I learned we still have to fight for the rights of those living with Dementia. Mum went from being told by the optician she had perfect eyesight(despite for as long as I can remember she always wore glasses) untill a family member could sit in on a visit and it was discovered she needed a stronger prescription, cataracts and possible glaucoma. I hate to think it but that first visit minus a family member I dont believe she was given a proper examination as she can't communicate or follow instructions.

I have learned to appreciate the small things in life as it can be taken away from you in the blink of eye. I never thought I would miss my sleepless Wednesday night visit to mum and dads but I do. I miss hearing my mum shuffle along the hallway at 2am and trying to help her back to bed - now someone else is doing that not me or dad.

I have learned that the public perception on Dementia still does not represnt the journey my mum has had and I struggle to convey the difficulties she went through and explain it properly to people.

I learned as family we may not have realised what we were actually doing to look after mum as we just did it and it became our norm.

I learned the system does NOT care for carers , we are suffering and they forget this. I still can't get over how my dad was treated when mum moved to a care home - no support NOTHING! All those years married, all those years caring and NOTHING as if their marriage didnt exist. I will never forgive the way that was handled and maybe this is where I need to start with my campaigning next year.

I learned that I needed some time to deal with the huge change that happened this year and I am ready to get back on it in 2019 and see how I can help mum, dad , my family and others more.

I am not looking back in sadness but looking forward in a positive to 2019 and fight the fight for mum.

Have a good one when it comes whereve you are whatever your doing.

As always thanks for listening x