It's the most Wonderful time of the year

Christmas and Hogmanay (New Year in Scotland)

Time to gather the family round and be happy and merry.

Time to relax , take a trip to the markets, see the Christmas lights.

Time to go to the cinema and see the latest blockbuster hit.

Time to give and recieve presents.

Time to stay up late and see in the bells, whilst socialising with family friends.

Christmas and Hogmanay (New Year in Scotland) with Dementia

Time to gather family round to see who can be with mum whilst dad nips out to do the food shop for Christmas Dinner,

Time to see what presents we can manage to buy with mum before having to call it quits as mum is tired and starting to shout out alot again.

Time to not be able to go the markets anymore as it's too busy and mum wouldnt be able to manage the crowds.

Time to figure out how dad will go see Star Wars as mum wouldnt last a whole cinema screening thats not Dementia friendly.

Time to realise that does mum even know it's Christmas?

Don't get me wrong as a family we had a wonderful Christmas but this is the first year we havent really been able to do anything 'Christmassy' with mum. It seems to be getting harder and harder and there are new obsticles we have to come over.

We had Christmas dinner at mum and dads this year, for this to happen we took mum to Edinburgh overnight to allow dad time to go and buy Christmas dinner and any other presents he needed to get.

Alot of planning has to go into Christmas Day for most I undertsand that, but when you have a family member who cannot be left alone but can also not cope with being out and about at the busiest time of the year, this can be added stress.

We didnt manage any outings this year which is the sad thing.

Christmas Day, I have to be honest as soon as I got to mum and dads I was holding back the tears. Here was my mum sitting on the couch not acknowledging any of us and probably unaware of what day it was. We sent dad away to go visit his grandchildren, whilst we tried to get mum up and sorted as she had had a really bad morning.

We got mum showered, make up on and we opened some chocolates. Andrew says Merry Christmas to mum, she looks at him and smiles. I pulled myself back together and decided we were going to make a day of this.

Dinner was great, we played Christmas tunes and chatted. Mum would sit down, eat food, back up again, walk in and out of the room whilst I tried to give her more food. Its strange how much this is the norm now.

We then played some party games, one being a music quiz where we discovered a new song for mum - Blockbuster by Sweet

Mum has the need to pace the floors, which can be very common in Alzheimers I believe. Whilst we played the music quiz this is what mum was doing, at one point andrew asked if she needed a seat and she replied 'YES' and basically sat on him lol. She must have been desperate for a seat but we had fallen into the trap I hate - we left mum wandering because thats just what she does, yet inside she was longing for a seat.

Mum didnt speak much , apart from to call me nuts, but you could see in her eyes how content she was with the day.

The downside to the interaction and engagement is that mum didn't sleep that night at all. So we went up boxing day to allow dad to get a sleep whilst we sat with mum and requested all sorts of songs from the Google Home present Santa brought her.

All in we are slowly learning that each Christmas is going to be different on this Dementia journey, but we will embrace it and create our new traditions. This is where I get saddened about how Dementia is given this perception of a disease that you can live well with. If this was the case mum would be out doing the present shopping and making thee most amazing stockings for us instead of us running around trying to fit everything around someone being with mum to ensure we are organised for Christmas.

My aunts and uncles will be spedning Hogmanay at mum and dads this year which I am so thankful for. This means that Mum and Dad wont be alone - as an extended family Hogmanay has been a big thing for us. Since they will be at mum and dads this means if mum is tired she can go to bed whilst everyone stays up, but i dont think this will be the case as she thrives on interaction and being around people.

As for the old saying New Year New Start, unfortunately on mums journey this saying just doesnt work. This time next year I dread to think what stage we will be at.

We wil keep fighting - fighting to keep mum at home for as long as possible, fighting to keep mum active and engaged, fighting to raise awareness of Dementia and what its really like to live with.

Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read these posts, the more people we reach the more we can ensure that the world knows what its truly like to live with a Dementia diagnosis.