Not the best of welcomes

I'm currently sitting in the kitchen of mum and dads house trying to make sure mum doesn't see me. She bearly looked at me when I first arrived and went in to say hi, this lead to her getting angry and shouting 'GET OUT TASHA' 'GET HER OUT OF HERE' whilst pacing around.

Not the most normal of home coming visits when you live in a different city from your parents - but unfortunately this can sometimes be the realities of mine.

I have to add it's not been like this for a while and mum has been doing quite well as far as I could see, but today it's seems it has been a bad day for mum. On Wednesday's mum has a care worker come and look after her and she gets on quite well with them - but today mum must have been having a more lucid day and realised her own reality and got angry at the fact she he a carer. This must be so hard for mum as she has worked her whole life pretty much as a carer and even in her personal life she was a carer for her own gran who had early onset.

Cut a long story short today ended up with numerous phone calls by dad ,who is trying to hold down a job, between the carer for today, CPN and doctor surgery to try help mum out amidst one of her really bad days -

We were told the doctor surgery won't do house calls as mum is not house bound, it took for my dad to put his foot down and demand a house visit as mum was in no fit state to leave the house. Eventually the doctor came out and has prescribed more drugs to try help with these types of situations.

The carer for today was told by her line manager to leave the house as mum was getting quite angry and agitated; i thought mum wasn't allowed on her own - especially during one of her angry spells. I get it can be quite scary when mum gets upset and angry - believe me I've been on the receiving end - but surely we have a duty towards those who we care for to try and learn how to help people out who are quite clearly confused and upset at the current situation?

The CPN told us she won't rush up as a new face may make things worse - SERIOUSLY? Who do we have to help us out in these situations then? We certainly aren't phoning nhs24 again, last time that lead to a 4 week unnecessary stay in a psychiatric unit.

So now I'm left asking - where is the help? This is a mental health issue, mum is not doing this on purpose. If someone was suffering from a heart attack would we sit around and pass the buck? No we'd get the help needed ASAP and the person wouldn't be looked at as being a trouble maker. This is our reality and more so dads as he is mums live in carer - he needs more support on how to deal with these situations when they arise, and today he was struggling to get that help.

Maybe the issue is that there is no help in the sort of scenario? Surely mum can't be the first to experience this sort of behaviour once diagnosed with a Dementia illness? What can be done for cognitive behavioural therapy? Surely popping someone full of pills is not the answer?

So I finish this off by sitting in the kitchen, wondering when it's OK to go back into the living room in the hope of not upsetting mum by simply being here! I can hear her sobbing whilst dad cuddles her trying to calm her down asking if Natasha can come come back into the living room.

I don't write this in looking for sympathy, I write this in trying to bring awareness of the other sides of Alzheiemers/Dementia - so the next time you crack a joke about forgetting something and saying you have Alzheimer's; please remember that's not jusy what it's all about, although sometimes I wish it was. I genuinely sometimes think would I rather mum didn't know who I was if it meant she lived a happier life and not this constant upset and anger she can experience due to her Alzheimer's.

#alzheimers